“Silence (the stare)”
Sometimes, I climb up my mind
One step at a time
Staring...into the mirror
Seemingly steeping up the inclinations
Towards a heaven I haven't heard of
But can swear I've felt
Intermittently digging my heels
Into the tar of my tired, tethered, muted synapse
Connecting the lot of dots GPS'd--my life's destinations
Based on the way I've played the cards I was dealt
And wonder...
Can I ever get away
With coloring it all wonderful.
Would such intent be criminal
To say that I've said
All there is to say
And have done
All there is to do
And have lived
All there is to ever live for
And that I've simultaneously lost...
...and won.
Time.
Seconds.
Gluttonously so.
Robustly stitched
In cut scenes and cut aways
That cut me anything but slack
That got me everywhere but where I'd thought I'd ever be
That kept me clipping in and out of the barriers of sound
which allowed me to be loud
To be proud
To be...me.
And I'll stay there.
For hours on end.
Tranquil...as darts in dogs
Still...as painted fruit
Faint and, finally famished of all alleged mannish inquisitions.
I listen.
And I hear...
You.
I hear you say to me.
Things that score like,
"...I love your loyalty more."
"I love you more."
Points like pin like needles like
When you say," I need you."
That's when...it happens.
Tears fall.
Boughs break
And the cradle of my salvation
Shakes itself awake
And says
In my voice
Through my lips
"I need you...too."
Silence is golden,
Yet I never bought you proper jewelry to propose.
Saturn's rings around the sun together.
That counts, I suppose.
Stemming because of your presence as the sun rose.
She's...still...here.
So now?
Hear me.
I love you.
Even when I'm not particularly supposed to.
Whether it's holding your hand while navigating through traffic,
Or getting you to laugh during awkward moments,
Stolen kisses,
Bartered hugs (because an even swap ain't no swindle)
And even in the simple things
That these supposed Kings declare that kings don't do
Like washing dishes
Doing laundry
Or rubbing bodies with oil or lotion
Not for sex, but just for sake of sacred sleep.
I dream of you. Daily.
Sometimes sweet, sometimes savory.
(depends on what my blood sugar balance needs are)
But baby, you're my star
The apple in my eye
The Isis of my Iris
And I just...wanted you to know...
That almost any and damn near every time...
I'm quiet?
It's probably because...
I'm speechless
When contemplating...
Our love.
One day, I'll make it to my last stair.
And even then,
....
...
You'll be there.
